Liam Payne’s sister says she feels ‘plunged underwater’ without her brother

By Casey Cooper-Fiske, PA Entertainment Reporter

Liam Payne’s sister Ruth Gibbins has said she feels “plunged underwater” without the late One Direction singer, on the six-month anniversary of his death.

The singer died on October 16th last year at the age of 31 after falling from a hotel balcony in Argentina.

In a post on Instagram, Gibbins said: “Six months, half a year without you? My head is still screaming for you.

A post shared by Ruth Gibbins (@roo0990)

“Each morning on waking I feel like I am plunged underwater, gasping for air that never comes to relieve me.

“Living without you is impossible, so for now, I exist.

“I’m learning to laugh or smile in the right places, but mate, it’s exhausting when all I want to do is speak to you.

“In the few moments I allow myself to feel love and not just loss, I can really smile at memories of us, like last year when we were doubled over laughing at us trying to make something we’d seen on YouTube, but memories are always tinged with sadness at how unfair it is that we can’t make new ones.

“I can sometimes hear you laughing at me for walking around like Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, looking for you everywhere I go.

“I see you though, you’re always coming through in different ways to put me back on the right path.

 

“I can’t process what’s happened and the finality of it, you know I will never stop doing all I can for you.

“I miss you loudly, quietly and in all the moments in between.

“Love you so much more than these words or my tears are capable of expressing, but I know you know this.

“For now, I’ll meet you in my dreams.”

Gibbins also posted a picture of her and Payne together smiling.

It comes after Payne’s former girlfriend Kate Cassidy told Lorraine Kelly’s ITV talk show earlier this year “sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of bed” after the singer’s death.

In February, a court in Argentina dropped charges of criminal negligence against three out of the five people who had been charged in connection with the performer’s death.

In March, Payne was remembered at the Brit Awards with a video montage which showed him with his family, as well as a clip from his time on The X Factor and then with One Direction, who won seven Brit Awards before they split up.