Kingscourt community bands together to help vitalie
It’s hard to believe that Vitalie Bet is anything other than the picture of health. Sitting in the family’s living room, the Moldovan father of two calmly describes the devastating news he’s been dealt with almost an air of nonchalance. That their lively young children are brought into the kitchen to play with Lego, while the adults speak and anxious relatives and neighbours join us to listen in silence, is a better gauge of the seriousness of the Bets’ situation.
Despite being diagnosed with inoperable cancer, Vitalie insists that they remain positive. The grim news was given after surgery to treat stomach cancer revealed that the cancer had spread as metastases on his abdominal wall. All the surgeon in St James’s could do was close the incision without removing the tumour and explain to Vitalie and his wife Angelica that they would do their best to prolong his life.
“It is not operable as a cure,” says Vitalie, “it is operable if there are blockages and they can do some small surgeries to keep me alive for longer, longer, longer. The surgeons says, 'We are not going to operate on you again.’”
With treatment the specialist predicts he could live one, maybe two years.
Vitalie was told this on April 10, just two days after turning 35. According to the Bets, the surgeon shared their shock as the tests conducted six weeks before surgery hadn’t shown it up. The Bets had remained upbeat after Vitalie’s original diagnosis last October. A silent cancer, the only symptom was persistent heartburn. An “unusual feeling” he experienced in his stomach last summer, prompted doctors in Cavan General to conduct a scope, which only then detected the tumour. After three cycles of chemo made no discernable difference to the tumour, the decision was taken to operate and the extent of the cancer became horribly clear.
Rather than accept this latest prognosis, the Bets immediately set about a desperate scramble both online and by phone to locate any hospital, anywhere that could offer Vitalie some hope of a cure.
“We didn’t accept what the doctor said - 'that’s it, it is not curable.’ We did not accept that,” says Vitalie.
The Bets’ perseverance was rewarded with hope that oncologists in Germany and Israel may be able to provide some cutting-edge treatments, not available to them in Ireland. Vitalie explained that, if all goes well, he may receive biotherapies, immunotherapy and a different form of chemotherapy, which directly targets the tumour.
One Israeli specialist told Vitalie from the medical records available so far, curing him “is hard, but it is possible”. They take further comfort from news that, while the cancer is regarded as stage four in Ireland, because the new spots are not yet tumours and have not spread to vital organs, it is regarded as stage three in Israel. However, for the medics abroad to decide whether he is suitable for the treatment depends upon the results of the biopsy, which was taken at the time of the aborted operation. The Bets are expecting the results this week, possibly today (Wednesday), April 22. They cannot start new form of chemo until the incision from his surgery has healed, due to risk of infection, so must wait a further two to three weeks.
The cost of private treatment abroad is expensive, possibly as much as €100,000. However within a week of the news breaking, neighbours moved by the young family’s plight, have already raised an amazing €20,000 to help cover the costs.
“All of Kingscourt loves him,” says Angelica proudly, raising a laugh from Vitalie who moved to the town in moved 2002, then aged just 22.
He humbly deflects this attention. “It’s a nice community it is very close, it is like a big big family,”
“I don’t know how we can live without him,” insists Angelica sitting by her husband. “It’s impossible for us, for me. I want to do something, it doesn’t matter what.
“I think all the people want to do the same, I feel we have a chance, I believe what has spread isn’t very big. Some clinic can help. I want to try, he wants to try. He does not believe in the last diagnosis. I believe, maybe it’s a miracle... but I believe in good things.”
The only time Vitalie loses his composure in the hour-long interview is when talk turns to whether his young children Alisa (six) and Arthur (four) know anything is wrong.
“My daughter she feels there’s something going on with me because I can’t lift her up. Usually they lift my heart. I always carry them,” he says tearfully.
How do you feel looking to the future?
“Positive,” he says calmly. “I’m planning next year to be back to normal, that’s my plan, I feel strong, positive. I didn’t accept what the doctor said about a year or two. Because I have to live, I have to live for my kids and my wife.”
Kingscourt pull together for Vitalie
Just seven days after Vitalie Bet received the news that his cancer was inoperable, the Kingscourt community raised an amazing €20,000 to help pay for potentially life saving treatment.
The popular father of two, who is known as Victor to patrons of Europa chip shop where he works, has made his home in Ireland since 2002 and has found a place in the hearts of the community; particularly amongst their neighbours in An Tor Aonarach estate where they have lived for the last three years.
“He is one of the kindest, nicest, friendliest people we know,” says the Bets’ next door neighbour, Olwyn O’Driscoll. “You couldn’t ask for better neighbours.”
The neighbours have embarked on a fundraising drive, which has taken the Bets aback by the immediacy of its success. The first event was a family fun run held in town on Saturday afternoon.
“The response was absolutely crazy. We had just over 300 people and we said a fiver a head, but people gave a lot more - we raised €2,385.”
Then on Sunday the Polish community of Kingscourt arranged a cake sale in the parish centre after the two masses and raised €2,400 in just two hours. “Again the whole town pulled together for Victor,” enthused Olwyn.
“It’s all for you,” she says sitting across from Vitalie and his wife Angelica, “because everybody absolutely loves you and you know that. Well you do now!”
Fundraising continues this Friday, April 24 at 9pm with music, leg-wax and raffle in Malone’s Bar, Kingscourt. The Bets’ neighbours asked local businesses to provide spot prizes for Friday and Olwyn says they were all “extremely generous”. The musicians Sandmen and David Calikes also agreed to perform on Friday for free.
“It’s going to be a bit of fun and we hope to raise some more money,” said Olwyn, as they bid to raise a total of €100,000 to pay for Vitalie’s medical treatment abroad.
“All donations are welcome, no matter how big or small. We know that at this time not many people have extra money, so that is why we are overwhelmed with the response we’ve got in six days, but we’re not going to stop.”
You can donate, IBAN: IE95 BOFI 903461 24708468; BIC BOFIIE2D